Tuesday, November 24, 2009?
blah blah blah ...
cut hair, arcade, crossfire, simpang ...
simple day..
after chilling at simpang suddenly got gambling mood lol ...
omg i saw a super pretty girl at simpang today !!!! ok ..
should have took a picture ..
and with my short hair i look like small boy, again ..
not sure whether i can wake up for movie tmr ..
need to buy my advance theory book !
anyway .. i cant believe after all this jon still tried to go back for my sister ..
sigh ... i really really ... judge him ...
and he was still talking big about how he got over her ...
tmd ...
not much rants for today .. good thing i guess ...
0531
and im not aslp yet wtf .. how to wake up for movie
anyway i suddenly feel very jealous ...
sigh ...
qualities qualities ...
seems like he has alot more ..
what do i have ?
im still young ..
if i still dun bloom by the age of 25 im gg ..
im forever stuck with that standard ..
but a rose that is not full bloom is the prettiest ..
another note of reminder.
optimism = self denial ..
lol ..
maybe i should text them to delay the timing of the show ..
im really keen on watching 2012.
0906
as my alone time increases, my brain thinks more and more ..
maybe more and more sensible ...
the thoughts that are running through my head now are quite confusing too ..
im not even sure whether does it make sense or not ..
but rather then pondering over it ..
maybe its better if i put them down in words ..
i can probably think about it thoroughly some other time ...
the days of me being single is getting longer and longer now ..
im also not sure how long is it till the next one come ..
but all these while i have been thinking of my own flaws ..
thinking of all the mistakes i have made ...
fearing whether will i repeat them in my next relationship ...
even when surfing the net or out with friends these questions and fears are still running in the back of my mind ..
all the critisism that my exgf made to me are still quite vivid.. whether it made sense or not i always remember a comment made towards me ..
i always keep it in mind because they definitely said or felt that way for a reason ..
ever since ive been blog jumping just now something inside me just rang ...
its hard to explain .. but its kinda like telling me that all these while i have been very self centered, even if im thinking about my own mistakes i always dun care about how others feel .
in the end im still doing things for myself ..
everyone is going on with their lives, each moment tons of people are feeling how im feeling, and everyone has their own worries...
i forgotten where i heard this line but its " how can i love a man who doesnt even love himself"
somehow this line affected me alot as a pessimist.
maybe its a contributing factor to why i always think so much about my own flaws. because i want to improve myself and my qualities.
but after that i did not really pay attention to anything else other then myself ...
maybe this is the root of my selfishness ...
but still i wanna say i have been selfless in my last relationship, towards the end at least ...
i want to get her off my mind, but she deserve to stay in my memories forever.
single life sucks, screw all those who enjoys it ..
u haven taste real love before ..
note to myself, never bind someone because u love them, and never let ur love ones bind u.
act of selflessness, is important..
well if u really love someone this quality will automatically appear.
im not sure what im saying anymore .. just typing anything already .. prolly should get some shut eye before i wake up at night ..
0958
