Thursday, November 05, 2009?
omg ... why am i awake at this time ?!?! worse time to wake up ...
lol i drink drink drink then fall asleep on couch ..
shit im sober ...
i should get myself drunk again.
0330
i know im making the right choice by selling my soul for love.
if anyone have other opinions about that, fuck off.
i would rather be lonely without friends and love
then to lose someone i truly love.
everything that has happened seems so recent.
i can feel the moment of grief, happiness, anguish and sorrows
just like i was in that very situation.
this is the time when i need to forget but i cant.
deep down im still in denial.
i still believe there is hope.
i believe theres a future.
i believe we could still work things out as long as the approach is right.
but theres another side of me which tells me that it is all over.
i have screwed up.
i had thrown away my opportunities.
im permenantly robbed of every chance.
it just seems like my last stand have also failed.
it might have made a slight impact but
if i know her correctly, her decision was well thought, stern.
maybe my words can just do this much.
but still. Ive decided what ive decided.
im never going to go back on my words.
just feeling very lost now.
cant even talk to her when shes online now.
arg.
0903
keep thinking of what she said.
"i still enjoy ur company but theres no feeling there le"
isnt this what happens in most relationship ?
cant expect a relationship that she wants and still be fiery and passionate.
1009
im home :(
im bored :(
im lonely :(
im sad :(
wo shi lian le !!!!
wanted to catch up with my friends but end up none of them are free.
so i ended up roaming around bugis aimlessly
just letting all the memories run through my mind again and again.
always hoping i would bump into someone i know
or her.
went to tampines buy some stuff
and bought some octopus sushi for myself.
how everything reminds me of her.
come to think of it, i dun think ive ever felt so bad when i fell out of love.
at least then i was sad but i could live my life properly.
maybe time is the only medicine.
i still dun believe this is over.
as long as one day she's still single, there's still chance.
call me stubborn.
but i call this resilience
sometime i wish she was reading, so she would know how i feel.
i hate putting up tough fronts.
arg .. everytime my phone rings, everytime i recieve a msged i would
immediately look and hope its her.
never happen.
o well ..
life goes on ...
ill prolly post another post like 1 hour later because im alone and so freaking bored
guess blogging here is sort of talking to myself.
1911
i keep thinking, maybe this is all a bad joke ? maybe its a reason to make me stay away awhile
but who am i kidding.
just hope she would change her mind ....
IM SO BORED NOW !!!
IM SUFFOCATING AT HOME !!!
NOTHING TO DO !!!!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
SAVE ME !!!!!!
maybe i should go out and take a walk.
2008
why does her life without me seems so awesome and full of joy without me but my life without her is like shit?
maybe all these while she has been sacrificing her fun time to entertain me.
maybe i dun deserve her.
like i use to say, im never good enough for any person.
guess she's totally out of my league.
2045
