Saturday, December 12, 2009?
it sure feels like a long time since i last updated ...
well its only been one day i guess ...
Have lots of drinks yesterday ..
got drunk puked .. the usual ..
met up with joel to get zouk out tix for tmr .. :D
wonder would i have fun tmr ..
neways i just watched finish ET
for the first time .. haha ..
cant believe i actually didnt watch ET before eh ?
Guess ill keep today's post short ..
Hope zouk out isnt a disappointment.
I need to stop living in the shadows of my past.
But it just seems so hard to get over.
Even if i get a tint of love in the future.
I'll still not get over.
That is how much i love her.
0359
*long post incoming
ok i ended up watching sex drive and not sleeping yet. wtf . i THINK im quite tired now and I'm not sure why i ended up posting a post again.
I was talking to alicia on msn just now ... ended up thinking a lot of crap again ..
first off .. I wonder why am i putting a tough front in front of people.
ego ? pride ? or is it just a mean of being accepted in the society?
at times i really want to speak how i truly feel, but the fear of being judge and discriminated in the society just eats into me.
so i, or we in general ends up comprimising with what everyone is doing.
I recently saw this behind the scene thing of a movie that is centered around a child blah blah blah i cant remember the movie but ..
it mentioned smth quite interesting.
its about how a child, will always do things without thinking, they will just do it. and us adult will think before we act.
its because of adults, as time goes by, we accumilate expirience and regrets and thus holding us back from doing stuff.
im not saying its a good saying but i like it.
I believe i'm far too young to be held down by this but i am.
these are the cons of being pessimist + pragmatic i guess.
If u are afraid to risk, u'll end up not doing anything .
sometimes i hate to be sober..
If only i was confident and gutsy when i am sober ..
its cool how i dun think that much when im tipsy or drunk
but o well i intend to die at my prime.
28-35 maybe ?
haha ..
not like anyone will miss me ..
or maybe the same old cliche shit will happen ..
people will only miss my presence when im really gone ..
O before i forget ..
have u guys ever had a sweet dream and realised that it was a dream and forced urself awake ?
sounds weird ? I have . just last night ..
i was dreaming of one of my ex and i was enjoying myself so much that somehow i manage to have the ability to think and realised that i was in a dream and was like OFUCK IMGONNA WAKE UP ALL EMO AGAIN and forced myself awake. so yeah ..
ok retarded .
I have been screaming and crying inwards recently ..
yes ... again ... wtf ...
last note.
to anyone who has actually made it reading this far *salute.
u really do care for me :D
ok, if u had an argument with ur other half. and u're pissed off with him or her.
He/she is desperately trying to do the right thing and is so desperate about it and
yet at the same time he/she is doing all the wrong things and pushing u further and further away. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
dun hint, dun assume, JUST SAY.
just tell them what to do if u really care for them
I dun know how many people can actually understand what im saying here but millions and MILLIONS of people have made this same mistake.
some times when u are so desperate, so needy. u tend to be blinded by love, and end up doing all the wrong things. when that happens u'll end up doing more and more wrong things, and eventually will cause the inevitable break up.
if only we aren't that oblivous when we are in a relationship.
in short.
love is blind.
I've ranted enough.
the moment i wake up. Im gonna get high and prepare for zouk out.
0617
